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From someone who had one.
By Jeff Kagan
Click to read about my new book Life After Stroke: On The Road To Recovery, by Jeff Kagan
4-29-2010
I was a happy and successful
husband, father and businessman at the top of my game, living the American
dream, then 6 years ago I had a stroke and it changed everything. Suddenly my
happy world came to an abrupt end. I don’t want to fill you with false hope
for a rapid recovery, because it can take a lot of time, but the good news is
recovery does happen. I am living proof.
Trust me, I know what you are
worried about. Six years ago my business was very successful. I was in between
two speeches, one in Las Vegas to keynote a convention and the next in Seattle
to moderate a panel with the CEO of AT&T Wireless. During that week in
between I packed up the van and took my happy family to the beach like we have
done every year for as long as I can remember.
We stopped in Macon Georgia to
get a cup of coffee at Starbucks because I was tired. When I walked in with the
kids I ordered a bacon double cheeseburger. First of all I have never ordered
that before, and second of all everyone knows you can’t find one at Starbucks.
The kids laughed. They thought I was joking.
We got back in the car to finish
the trip and I looked very tired. My wife suggested she drive for a while and
let me take a nap. I thought it was a good idea. I got out to change seats and
didn’t put the car in park. It rolled and my wife stopped it. I got in the
passenger seat and fell asleep.
That ride to the beach was when
it happened. Just before and during my 4-hour nap. There was no pain. Only
sleepiness. No signs to tell my wife to get me to a hospital ASAP. Nothing. It
happened quietly. When we arrived it was too late. The damage was done. My mind
was fried.
If you suspect a stroke get to
the hospital immediately, during the first 3 or 4 hours, the sooner the better.
If it is not a stroke you lose nothing. If it is a stroke it is the most
important thing you can think of.
A stroke is funny. The damage is
different for everyone. It depends on the spot in the brain that died. Some
people have a minor stroke, and some have a major one. To the person having one,
they are all miserable. I was fine doing some things, but a real dolt doing
others. I could drive, but I could not have a conversation for more than a
moment.
The first 6 months were actually
kind of nice. Nothing mattered. Very sleepy, taking naps several times a day,
but happy. Naps are the way your brain heals itself so nap all you need to for
the first few years. You’ll know you are getting better when you need less
sleep. It happens as you recover. Life was slow and nice. I had a problem, but
did not realize it yet.
Then the recovery started. As my
brain started to heal I began to realize what I had lost and it was very
frustrating. Not all at once. However as the months passed and as I realized
more and more of how different I now was it was depressing.
Over the next several years it
was both frustrating and depressing, and happy and exhilarating. Every time I
tried to do something that I no longer could it was agonizing, but every time I
had another wave of recovery it was terrific. Fortunately I had wave after wave
of recovery separated by months. It helped to focus on the positive even though
I was surrounded by negative.
Today, six years later I feel
great. If I had known that I would recover, then I would have sat back and
enjoyed the vacation. Of course if I did that then I would not have worked so
hard to get my mind back and perhaps I would still be a mess.
I will never know. Neither will
you. So you have to work hard every day and have faith that you will recover.
Recovery may not be 100%. Whatever it is, it is recovery. Better than you are
today. Isn’t that worth fighting for? You bet it is.
Early in my adventure I read
books, articles, and went to speeches from stroke survivors. I got inspired and
learned all that I could. People who have strokes don’t know anything about
having a stroke. However now you have lots of time to learn.
So while I am sorry you had a
stroke, as I was sorry about mine, I have learned the secret to recovery is work
hard and never give up. Enjoy the early time when you are detached from the
stresses of the world. Thank goodness for your family and friends. Have them
read and talk with stroke experts to understand what you are going through.
Doctors are great, but they treat the symptoms, they don’t educate you. And
both you and your caregivers need education.
Today I have recovered. I am back
to work building my business once again, traveling, giving speeches and
interviews with the media writing reports and having a ball. It will take me a
while to get back to where I was before, but I am enjoying every day.
The road won’t be easy and in
most cases won’t be short. It may take several years and you may or may not
fully recover. However whatever you can recover is worth it. Trust me. Have
faith in yourself. Work hard and keep a positive mindset and you will get there.
Life after stroke can be rough. A life-changing stroke is
something you want to avoid if at all possible. Believe me I know. I had a
stroke a few years ago. It's not fun. Many of us are more susceptible than
others. How can you improve your odds?
Some factors cannot be changed while others can. You cannot change your family
history, or other natural occurrences, but you can change your lifestyle if it
increases your chances of having a stroke. So what can you do to give you the
cleanest chances going forward?
You can't change your family history, your age, race or gender. You can't change
your history, if you have had a stroke or heart attack already. However there
are many areas you can change to improve your chances.
Some have to do with your environment while others have to do with your
lifestyle.
- First, lose weight. If you are heavy the extra pounds put a lot of stress on
your system. I have had trouble with this for several years. At a minimum take a
brisk walk at least 30 minutes every single day.
- Even if you are not obese, physical activity is key to staying healthy.
Without it your body gets weak and you want it to stay strong.
- Stop smoking. We all know about how bad smoking can be, but it can actually
increase your chances of a stroke, so cut it out now.
- Control your high blood pressure. This is one of the leading causes of stroke.
Treat with medication and exercise and let your doctor monitor it for you to
make changes as needed.
- Treat your high cholesterol. This is easy to spot and treat with medication.
- Treat your diabetes. This is a surprise for many. There are few signals, so
have yourself checked. If you have diabetes, it is often easy to treat, but
there are several parts you have to be aware of. Ignore it and you will become
the next statistic.
- Eat better. Reduce fats and salts. Today's diet is like poison with all the
added sales and fats. It's much worse for us than when we were younger. We eat
way too much of both and don't even realize it. Salt and fat are in most
processed foods. So eat more natural foods. Count every drop of salt and fat you
eat. I'll bet you even if you try and count it all, you will still have much
more than you think.
Shop around the walls of the grocery store. The fruits and vegetables lean meats
and baked goods are the healthiest. All the boxes and cans inside the store are
loaded with fat and salt. I never realized this until after my stroke. I paid
attention to the labels and was shocked. Still am.
Increasingly there are versions of your favorites that are healthier. Like V8
Juice that was always healthy except for the high sodium, now has a low sodium
version and it is both healthy and delicious.
It is improving, but it is taking forever. The government recently gave food
makers several years to reduce salt in foods by a certain percentage. Like
everything else the government does it may be a good idea, but will take too
long.
Remember, for foods lower in salt, if anyone wants extra salt they can easily
add it. However for the growing number of people who watch what they eat, they
cannot take salt out of the processed foods.
The only alternative is simply not to buy it. That means food makers could earn
more if they take the healthy path. Will they? I would by much more processed
foods if it were healthy. Don't they get it?
Many items in stores that are lower in fat and salt are more expensive than
their regular versions. That is not right. Taking advantage of customers trying
to do the right thing and eat healthy. There is no reason for it costing more to
eat healthy.
Stroke comes on instantly. You can't stop it. So the next best thing is to
strengthen your body to prevent it. Pay attention to everything. Stay strong and
healthy. Trust me it is a lot better than the alternative.
2-10-2010
So you've had a stroke. I understand what you are going through. I
had one a few years ago. I know you are beginning to realize how different
things will be for you. You are trying to wrap your arms around this sudden
change in your life. You have a lot of questions.
The good news is this stroke also gives you a unique gift. You have a do-over.
Yes a do-over. What will you do next?
I was a recently a guest on a television show talking about the inspirational
story of my stroke and recovery. The host asked me this very interesting
question. He said, you have a do-over, so what are you going to do next?
As a telecom analyst I had done countless interviews with reporters over the
last 20 years, however this was the most interesting question I had been asked
in ages. What will I do next?
I didn't have an answer, but it started me thinking and that put me on the right
path once again. The stroke knocked me off that path several years ago. Now, for
the first time in years, I am back.
Depression is normal after a stroke. However after you get through with your
after-stroke-depression you have this same big question to answer too. You may
not be able to "or want to" do the same thing you did before. However
you still have to work. So what will you do next?
The stroke threw you off your horse. Recovery takes a while to get your mind
sorted out. Then a while longer to deal with the depression, which is also
natural. Then at some point a few years later we realize we have to take charge
of our lives. We have to shake off the depression and start to build our lives
once again.
Finally reaching that place is a wonderful experience. All of a sudden doors
open. It's like opening the shutters on the windows of your house and letting
the fresh air and sunshine in. It's incredible. You'll see.
You just turned the page on the next chapter in your life. Once there, we are
all in the same spot. We have a do-over.
Give serious though to the question, what are you going to do with the rest of
your life? This is a pretty exciting question. It gets your skin twitching and
your heart pumping again. It's wonderful.
Start at the top of your funnel. The wide-open end where all the ideas swirl
together. Then as the next several weeks and months go by you find yourself
working your way down through the funnel. Leaving certain ideas behind because
they seem less interesting and pursuing other ideas. There are way too many
different ideas at this point, but this is all part of the process.
Research on the web, read articles and books, talk to everyone, keep your mind
open. Before you know it you have worked your way down to the narrow opening at
the bottom of your funnel. That's when a few interesting ideas drip out.
Start working on one. You may find that after working on it, that it changes
over time. As you learn, you realize there are bigger and maybe better
opportunities ahead if you take a right instead of left.
This is the exciting journey you are now on. Trust me when I tell you it is very
good to have a purpose once again. It's a new lease on life. You will think the
days are brighter ahead, and they are.
Lets face it, stroke is a pain in the neck. It took the wind out of our sails.
It threw us off the horse for several years. Depression made it worse and last
longer. It was natural because we could not do anything for so long.
After a while however we begin to heal and realize that depression is holding us
back. Something happens to each of us that snaps us out of this low place and
sets our feet back on the healthy path once again.
Once we realize all this, and once we start living again, our lives can be
bright and full and happy once again. We finally get to the point where we say
we won't let depression steal any more time from us. The future is ours.
Once we get to that point we start wondering what is next. Maybe we can go back
to doing what we did before. However you may find that your tastes have changed.
You may find that you are no longer as interested in what you did anymore.
So explore this question... what is next? It may be the starting point of the
next, happy and satisfying chapter of your life.
END